Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why Am I Always in Fight Mode? + Learning to Love Safely After Trauma
Feminist WellnessShow Notes
Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why do some people default to fight mode instead of people-pleasing? And can someone with developmental trauma actually learn to feel safe in love?
In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the hidden relationship between emotional outsourcing, chronic nervous system activation, and the fight response. If you’ve ever felt constantly braced, reactive, angry, burnt out, or unseen, this conversation will help you understand what your body has been trying to protect.
We also answer a deeply tender listener question about learning to love safely after developmental trauma. Together, we unpack attachment wounds, functional freeze, interoception, somatic healing, and the slow, powerful process of building secure attachment in adulthood.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join Nervous System Signals and Safety! You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.
Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety Nervous System Signals and Safety
More from Feminist Wellness
#401: What happens when your good intentions leave someone you love feeling unheard? When you keep offering suggestions, asking if they're sure, or trying to convince them to change their mind, even after they've given you a clear answer?
Tenderoni Hotline #49: This episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin.
#400: Have you ever clearly said what you want, only to have someone question it, suggest something else, or act like they know your preferences better than you do?
Tenderoni Hotline #48: There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you.
#399: What happens when loving someone turns into managing their growth, their choices, and their willingness to change?