DEEP DIVE: What Happened to My Sweet Child?
What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny MomsShow Notes
This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.
Why do formerly-sunny kids turn overnight into little tornadoes of defiance and aggression? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group:
My four-year-old daughter has recently developed a special, defiant, boundary-testing, aggressive version of herself that she saves only for me. I can’t make sense of it at all. WFH, send help!
In this episode, we explain why
these sudden onsets of periods of dysregulation are completely normal
almost every kid will go through this—and a lot of four-year-olds, although not they do not have exclusive ownership of this sort of behavior
and why most kids alternate between periods of regulation and dysregulation repeatedly as they grow and mature.
These difficult stretches don't mean you're doing anything wrong as a parent. They don't mean you need to lock everything down because your kid will be a tornado forever. But they also don't mean mean you need to become the 24/7 punching bag for your dysregulated kid. Here's what to do instead.
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Rebecca Onion for Slate: Why These Child Psych Books From the 1980s Are All Over Parenting Facebook Groups Today
Allana Robinson for Mom Halo: Here's why your 4 year old's behaviour is out of control
Uncommon Sense Parenting with Allana Robinson: What Exactly Is Stress?
Louise Bates Ames: Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful
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What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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