What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

Fresh Take: Meg Stone on Campus Sexual Violence and Empowerment Self-Defense

What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

Summary

The prevalence of sexual violence on college campuses remains alarmingly high, as highlighted by violence prevention expert Meg Stone. Stone, the executive director of Impact Boston and author of two books on the subject, discusses the recent rape incident at Cornell University, which occurred in 2024, emphasizing that such events are not relics of the past but ongoing issues. Research shows that sexual violence is predominantly perpetrated by acquaintances rather than strangers, with institutional responses often failing to address the root causes effectively.

Stone critiques the ineffectiveness of current safety education methods, such as brief online webinars, which do not lead to meaningful behavioral change. She advocates for empowerment programs that teach young women and gender-expansive individuals self-defense and refusal skills, arguing that these strategies can significantly reduce the risk of sexual violence. Stone notes that societal attitudes towards sexual violence have evolved, yet many young people still struggle to assert boundaries in potentially harmful situations, often due to ingrained habits of compliance and people-pleasing.

The conversation also touches on the importance of fostering open discussions about consent and boundary-setting among young people, regardless of gender. Stone encourages parents to seek out comprehensive sex education and empowerment self-defense programs to equip their children with the skills necessary to navigate complex social dynamics safely. She emphasizes that preventing sexual violence requires collective action and a cultural shift towards supporting individuals who resist coercive behaviors.

Show Notes

This episode includes discussion of rape and sexual assault.

As parents, we have been horrified by the reports of sexual violence on Cornell’s campus in 2024, and dismayed that so little seems to have changed since we were in college ourselves. How do we teach our children to protect themselves from sexual violence on campus? And how mad do we get to be at the institutions that still aren’t protecting them?

On this episode we interview violence prevention expert Meg Stone, executive director of IMPACT Boston and author of The Cost of Fear: Why Most Safety Advice is Sexist, and How We Can Stop Gender-Based Violence and Don’t Fight Back and 10 Other Myths About Crime, Personal Safety, and Gender-Based Violence.

This conversation explores why sexual violence is usually committed by someone the victim knows, why common safety advice can be both ineffective and victim-blaming, and what research says about empowerment-based prevention.

Meg also discusses practical skills, boundary setting, bystander responsibility, and the role parents and institutions can play—without placing responsibility for violence on those targeted.

We discuss:

Why the “stranger jumping out of the bushes” is a misleading picture of sexual violence

Why one-time online campus trainings often fail to change behavior

How victim-blaming has shaped conversations about sexual violence

What empowerment-based self-defense programs teach—and why practice matters

How stress can make it harder to respond in the moment

Why refusal skills and boundary setting can be protective

How friends, bystanders, and institutions can interrupt abuse

Where families can look for empowerment self-defense and comprehensive sex education

The conversation emphasizes practicing refusal and interruption under stress, bystander responsibility, and finding trainings via the Empowerment Self-Defense Alliance and the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation.

Here’s where you can find Meg Stone’s work and the resources mentioned:

Impact Boston: impactboston.org

Meg Stone: megstone.org

Empowerment Self-Defense Alliance: https://www.empowermentsd.org/

National Women’s Martial Arts Federation: https://nwmaf.org/

The Cost of Fear by Meg Stone

Don’t Fight Back and 10 Other Myths About Crime, Personal Safety, and Gender-Based Violence by Meg Stone

Sexual Citizens by Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan

If you or someone you love has been impacted, help is available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE or by texting "START" to 88788. RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline can be reached at 1-800-656-HOPE.

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What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

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