Show Notes
This week I sat down with Adam Ukman, the founder of The Dads Initiative, a media company built entirely around a question almost nobody else in men's media is asking: where's the content for the normal dad? About a year ago, Adam launched The Dads Initiative after noticing men's media split into two toxic lanes, anger and blame, and set out to build a third lane for guys just trying to show up and do their best. His team surveyed more than 1,300 fathers and found that when asked which father figure in media actually reflects who they are, the most common answer was "nobody," a gap his shows, like the confidence-focused Reset Mode and the golf-and-life show Cart Talk, are built to fill. This is also just a deeply personal conversation. Adam lives in Fort Collins, Colorado, has been married to his wife, Jessica, for over a decade, and is dad to a three-year-old son named Noah. We get into the alter egos he leans on as a father, including a surprising nod to Jonathan Roumie's portrayal of Jesus in The Chosen, the mentor who taught him that confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself, and the simple, unglamorous rituals, a standing Thursday lunch date, a Friday afternoon date day, that keep his marriage on the front burner instead of the back burner.
Timeline Summary [1:44] Adam joins Larry, and the two dive right into the mission behind The Dads Initiative, which Adam launched about a year earlier [3:25] Adam shares that he lives in Fort Collins, Colorado [6:36] Larry introduces Adam's full story: over a decade of marriage, a son named Noah, and a media company built around content for men who happen to be fathers, not more parenting lectures [9:27] Larry and Adam discuss the loneliness so many men report and the need for men's media to offer "better company" [12:16] Adam breaks down why triggering, divisive content gets rewarded by social algorithms while hopeful, genuine content struggles to break through [18:43] Adam introduces his research study of more than 1,300 fathers on how they experience their own identity and fatherhood in the media [20:28] The study's most common answer for a father figure in media who reflects them was "nobody," with only Bluey's dad, Bandit, and Pa from Little House on the Prairie standing out as exceptions [23:05] Study finding: two-thirds of dads said they'd rather be seen as a strong, independent, protective provider than simply a kind, caring one [30:28] Adam walks through Todd Herman's Alter Ego Effect framework and the archetypes he personally draws on as a father, including Jonathan Roumie's portrayal of Jesus in The Chosen for compassion and calm [35:29] Adam highlights The Dads Initiative's golf show, Cart Talk, hosted by Paul Sullivan, and a recent episode featuring golf writer Tom Coyne on his decade of sobriety [42:18] Adam shares a mentor's lesson that confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself and others [46:34] Adam reflects on what he wants his three-year-old son, Noah, to "catch" from watching him: decency, curiosity, and respect [57:12] Adam and Larry talk about modeling apology and ownership for their kids instead of avoiding it [1:03:12] Adam describes protecting his marriage with a standing Thursday lunch date and a longer Friday afternoon date day [1:05:33] Adam references the book Us, by therapist Terrence Real, on making relationship decisions as a unit rather than as individuals [1:10:26] Adam shares where to find The Dads Initiative and its Substack, and closes with the episode number for the show notes
Five Key Takeaways Most dads don't need another lecture, they need better company, which is the whole reason Adam built The Dads Initiative. Confidence starts with keeping your word to yourself, not just intending to. An interested dad is the most interesting dad on the block, curiosity beats lecturing every time. Protecting your marriage takes an actual calendar entry, not just good intentions. Apologizing to your kids builds m
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