
From Fawning to Finding Your Voice: Healing From Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse | Kathy Young
Marriage Rehab: Exposing Narcissistic & Emotional AbuseShow Notes
When abuse shrinks you, how do you take up space again? In this episode of Marriage Rehab: Exposing Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse, clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. David B. Hawkins sits down with Kathy Young, a trauma-informed coach and survivor of a 35-year emotionally abusive marriage. Together, they unpack the survival strategy of “playing small,” the nuances of fawning, when gray rocking helps (and when it harms), and the trauma science (nervous system, polyvagal, complex trauma) behind exhaustion, hypervigilance, and losing your voice. You’ll learn: What “playing small” looks like and how it forms under power & control Why fawning and gray rocking emerge as short-term survival tools Big-T vs. little-t trauma and how chronic micro-traumas “stack” neurologically The body cost of abuse (fight/flight/freeze/fawn/collapse) and first steps to reclaim choice & voice Practical, low-risk ways to take up space again Guest: Kathy Young — trauma-informed coach & educator Website: kathymcateeyoung.com Programs & Support: Marriage Recovery Center – Women’s Core & more: marriagerecoverycenter.com If this episode resonates, you’re not alone. Healing is possible—one clear choice, one safe step, one reclaimed word at a time. For more on Kathy’s work, visit her website at www.kathymcateeyoung.com or follow her on Instagram @kathyyoungcoaching. This episode offers invaluable insights and encouragement for anyone seeking hope and transformation. Founded by Dr. David Hawkins, the Marriage Recovery Center is the leading authority on the treatment of narcissistic and emotional abuse. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our team at (206) 219-0145 or email [email protected] ***Please note that Mad.In.Love welcomes guests with diverse viewpoints. Their beliefs do not necessarily reflect our mission at the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, but we value open dialogue and exploration.***
More from Marriage Rehab: Exposing Narcissistic & Emotional Abuse
You'd never blame your nutritionist for a diet you didn't follow—so why do we blame our coach the same way?
Many couples enter counseling believing their biggest problem is communication. But what if communication problems are only a symptom of something deeper?
Why does your partner shut down, become defensive, or seem unable to engage emotionally when conflict arises?
If you've cycled through communication techniques and still land in the same fight, this episode explains why. Dr. David Hawkins and Dr. John Hudson return for Part 2 of their series on why communication is rarely the actual problem in a struggling marriage — it's usually the visible symptom of something deeper: emotional immaturity, power and control, manipulation, chronic invalidation, or emotional abuse.
What if the problem in your marriage isn't communication? In this episode of Marriage Rehab, Dr. David Hawkins and Dr. John Hudson challenge one of the most common assumptions in couples counseling: that better communication skills will fix your relationship. They unpack why communication is often merely a symptom of something deeper — emotional immaturity, power and control dynamics, and a lack of accountability — and why teaching listening and validation skills can actually cause more harm when emotional safety is lacking in the relationship. You'll learn how to tell the difference between a communication skills gap and a deeper pattern of emotional unsafety, why 'it takes two to tango' isn't always true, and what it means when a partner has stopped trying to be heard. This episode is for anyone who has tried every communication technique in the book and still feels unheard, unsafe, or stuck.