Sex in Marriage: Communication, Connection + Healing Past Wounds Around Intimacy
The Intentional Parents PodcastShow Notes
In this episode, Brook and Elizabeth sit down for an honest conversation about sex, intimacy, and connection in marriage. We begin with a few updates — including reflections from the Fatherhood Retreat, the upcoming Intentional Motherhood Retreat, and an update on Elizabeth’s back surgery — before diving into the topic.
Just as the gospel reminds us that we are fully known and fully loved, marriage invites that same kind of vulnerability. Yet many couples carry shame from past experiences, including sexual abuse, pornography, cultural messages, or purity culture wounds, and those things often affect intimacy in marriage.
We also discuss some of the common differences between men and women. Many men tend to feel emotionally connected after physical intimacy, while many women need emotional connection in order to feel open to physical intimacy. For many moms especially, exhaustion and constant demands can make intimacy feel like one more need to meet. Often, simple shifts in communication and care can make a significant difference.
Throughout the conversation, we emphasize that intimacy is not just about physical consumption or emotional communication alone — it’s about a deeper connection where emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy work together. That requires honest conversations, clear expectations, and a willingness to serve one another rather than compare our marriage to outside expectations.
We close with a few practical invitations for couples this week: have one calm conversation about sex, initiate non-sexual affection, and spend time praying together. Husbands might also ask their wives a simple question: “What helps you feel safe with me?”
If this conversation was helpful and you’d like to hear a part two on this topic, email us at [email protected].
Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:25, 1 Corinthians 7:4 + Ephesians 5:22-33
Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.
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