The Sabrina Zohar Show

196: Closure, No Contact, And How To Get Over Someone

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Show Notes

Closure is a lie, and waiting for it is keeping you stuck. In this episode of the Hard Truth Series, we get into why closure doesn't come from another person, what your brain is actually doing after a breakup, and why the conversation you keep replaying in your head would never be enough even if you got it. We cover the neuroscience of heartbreak, why searching for "why" makes things worse, and how identity loss after a relationship ends is what's really driving your distress.

If you can't stop thinking about your ex, feel like you need one more explanation to move on, or keep putting your life on hold waiting for them to come back, this one is for you. We break down the difference between processing and rumination, why no contact feels impossible, and how to actually grieve a breakup so you can stop outsourcing your healing to someone who already walked away.

Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?"

If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE!

If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE!

Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE!

Please support our sponsors!

Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code SABRINAZOHAR at mudwtr.com/SABRINAZOHAR! #mudwtrpod

Unlock your best skin with @iRestorelaser and unlock exclusive savings on the iRestore Illumina Face Mask, use code SABRINA at irestore.com/SABRINA! #irestorepod

=============================

Chapters:

00:00 Closure Doesn't Come From Them

03:15 Why Your Brain Craves an Explanation

06:30 Audience Questions: Stuck After a Breakup

09:45 The Neuroscience of Heartbreak

13:00 How to Actually Stop Thinking About Your Ex

16:15 Why Journaling Can Make It Worse

19:30 Identity Loss After a Breakup

22:45 What Grief Actually Looks Like

26:00 Reframing Closure as Grief

29:15 Tool of the Week: The Grief Inventory

Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

More from The Sabrina Zohar Show

Oct 16, 2026

Why do you keep checking if they watched your story, waiting for your ex to text, or feeling bored the moment someone is actually good to you? In this science-heavy episode, Sabrina breaks down the neuroscience of attachment and repeating relationship patterns: why your brain gets hooked on hot and cold people like a slot machine, why healthy relationships can feel boring, why you can’t get over your ex, and why you self-sabotage the moment you get what you wanted.

Oct 13, 2026

It’s pub day for Why Am I Like This?, and Sabrina’s mom Helly joins the show to talk honestly about Sabrina’s old dating patterns: texting nonstop, chasing emotionally unavailable men, people pleasing, and losing herself trying to make someone love her. Helly shares the advice she gave Sabrina for years, like “be careful what you wish for” and “you have to love yourself more than you need to be loved,” and explains why choosing yourself is where real change starts.

Oct 9, 2026

Why do I keep choosing the wrong people? Why can't I let go of someone who won't choose me? If you're stuck asking "why," this episode is for you. Sabrina breaks down why self-awareness alone won't heal anxious attachment, how childhood patterns follow you into dating and relationships, and what Mary Ainsworth's Strange Situation study shows about anxious and avoidant attachment: avoidants feel the panic too, they just hide it.

Oct 2, 2026

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.

Sep 25, 2026

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do during and after a breakup, from why no contact matters (and why it shouldn't be used to make your ex miss you) to how to handle the urge to text your ex, stop ruminating, and accept that closure is a decision you make, even when you never get the conversation. She also covers processing anger and grief, moving on from someone who broke up with you months ago, staying civil with an ex you work with or co-parent with, and seeing your ex on dating apps.

See all episodes →