Show Notes
You don't want to be hit — and yet every option feels wrong. You walk away, they follow. You close the door, they punch it. You stand there, and you're the one getting hurt. There's no good choice, and underneath it all is that trapped, powerless feeling that this will never end.
If you are in this right now, start with my free 3 Shifts guide — the three patterns most parents get pulled into during a meltdown, and how to shift them: https://www.illuminateu.ca/3-shifts-free-guide-podcast
In Part 2 of this three-part series on aggression, Afshan shares what actually changed it in her own home — where storms went from five hours of daily rage to about thirty minutes, maybe once a week. It was never the perfect strategy (there isn't one). It was learning to move out of the “trauma vortex” and into a safe-enough state, right in the middle of the storm — and the specific shifts that make that possible, both inside you and with your child.
You'll hear why staying “calm” can backfire, the difference between stopping a behaviour and punishing it, what to do when the hitting is aimed at you (or someone else), and how the storms actually get shorter over time.
This is the practical one. Part 1 is the foundation — what's happening inside YOU. Part 3, coming next week, is about the fear of the future: what this behaviour means for your child down the road, and why the way they truly learn isn't what we were taught.
📖 Read the blog version: https://www.illuminateu.ca/blog/what-to-do-when-your-pda-or-autistic-child-is-hitting-you-part-2 🌀 The Regulation Rebuild — doors open soon, join the priority list: https://www.illuminateu.ca/regulation-rebuild-course-priority 🎁 Free guide — The 3 Shifts To Make During Your Child's Meltdowns: https://www.illuminateu.ca/3-shifts-free-guide-podcast 🎁 Free guide — The 7 Truths, why you react even when you know better: https://www.illuminateu.ca/7-truths-free-guide-podcast 🎁 Free guide — Meaning, for the grief nobody names and finding your way back to yourself: https://www.illuminateu.ca/meaning-guide-podcast
More from The Regulated Parent
Am I accommodating my PDA, autistic child, or am I giving in? If you swing between the two and can't tell which is right, this episode is for you.
Your PDA, autistic child can't let you out of the room, not even to go to the bathroom. Here's what's actually happening inside them.
You give and give all day, and then you snap, and then you feel horrible about yourself. Here are the 7 moves that break that cycle.
Your child can't let you out of their sight — and you're exhausted. Here are the 7 things happening in your nervous system that nobody tells you about.
It's the fear so many parents of PDA and autistic kids carry: that today's aggression means something frightening about their child's future. In Part 3 of this series I gently take that fear apart, and offer a completely different way to understand how our kids actually learn.