Show Notes
Am I being manipulative, or am I just expressing how I feel? Licensed therapist Kati Morton answers 10 questions about emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, the silent treatment, and healthy communication in relationships.
Is crying during an argument manipulative? Can you manipulate someone without realizing it? What’s the difference between setting a boundary and giving an ultimatum?
SPONSOR - Thank you to Hero Bread for sponsoring this episode! Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://www.hero.co/ and use code KATI at checkout
In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, we explore those uncomfortable questions, including how childhood communication patterns can follow us into adult relationships. We also discuss reassurance seeking, relationship anxiety, and why having borderline personality disorder (BPD) doesn’t automatically make someone manipulative.
I share some of my own struggles with withdrawing when I’m hurt, along with practical ways to ask for what you need, take space without shutting someone out, and repair a relationship when you’ve caused hurt. Recognizing a behavior gives us something to work on. It doesn’t have to become who we think we are.
CHAPTERS 00:00 Am I being manipulative? 01:02 What actually counts as manipulation? 08:06 Can manipulation happen without planning it? 16:21 Expressing hurt vs. guilt-tripping 24:06 Is crying during an argument manipulative? 29:24 Taking space vs. the silent treatment 32:31 Reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety 35:22 Am I repeating my parent’s guilt-tripping patterns? 38:40 BPD, fear of abandonment, and manipulation 43:22 Healthy boundaries vs. controlling ultimatums 47:55 What if I recognize these behaviors in myself? 51:24 Four questions to help break the pattern 53:30 How to apologize and repair a relationship
What’s something you’re learning to ask for directly instead of hoping someone will figure it out? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear what’s helping you communicate differently.
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship.
Ask Kati Anything ep. 337 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT
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