Show Notes
Today I'm giving you a little sample of a Patreon episode. Feeling NRE (New Relationship Energy) in non-monogamy for the first time? If you're connecting with someone outside your primary relationship, you might freak out a bit (I sure did!). Here’s what I wish I knew: Thinking about your new lover more than your partner is normal and it will likely go away: Infatuation often comes with intense emotions and short-term, obsessive attachment. Remember, you likely felt the same for your primary partner once—it will fade.
You might feel guilty: If you haven't discussed this with your partner, guilt can creep in. It’s crucial to talk about what happens if someone catches feelings. Falling in love isn’t something you can control—be ready for it.
You might doubt your primary relationship even if it’s going great: This is monogamous conditioning at play. Society teaches us that loving someone else means something’s wrong. It takes time to unlearn that belief.
Resources: NRE Newsletter Post Join my Patreon at patreon.com/c/Polycurious Book an exploratory call here: https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min
More from Polycurious
Today, Ross and Eden, tantra practitioners, intimacy and relationship coaches, and community builders, share how they evolved from a very polyamorous dating life to a relationship that still leaves room for openness while honoring their nervous systems, emotional capacity, and desire to focus on each other.
Today I share my thoughts about The Invite, a movie about a married couple who invite their neighbors over for dinner. Things are awkward from the start, but they get even more awkward, funny, and real when an unexpected invitation to explore non-monogamy comes up.
Sarah Stroh talks about her book, Monogamaybe, her process coming to terms with her non-monogamous identity and finding a partner who supported her in that journey. We discuss how to manage and process jealousy and what agreements look like in non-monogamy when you want to be your best poly self but the reality is you’re struggling.
Natalie Davis, author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, shares her journey into polyamory, from opening up her marriage in her 40s after her husband’s infidelity to navigating living with her metamours. Natalie also opens up about the end of a decade long relationship after her partner began dating someone new and could no longer offer her the kind of relationship she wanted. She reflects on what she’s learned about letting go when a relationship no longer works for you.
Cat, Natalie, and Joshua from The Kink Collective talk about their experience building a triad. We talk about honesty and transparency in non monogamy, especially when telling the full truth feels scary because you’re worried about your partner’s reaction, and what happens when you struggle to trust a partner who isn’t fully transparent. Natalie also shares her experience entering an established relationship, navigating Joshua’s other partners, and realizing she sometimes compared Cat to her own mom because of their significant age difference. Finally, we talk about letting go of expectations about what a relationship is “supposed” to look like and allowing their triad to develop organically.