Show Notes
What if your head is on board with non-monogamy, but your body freaks out when your partner dates someone else?
Today, Bella and Patrick, who started their relationship long-distance and non-monogamous, share how they learned to navigate multiple partners, set clear agreements, and regulate their emotions.
Resources mentioned:
Bella’s Website https://www.bella-paints.com/coaching
Bella’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bellashepaints/
Bella’s Relationship Agreement Guide https://www.bella-paints.com/shop/p/the-relationship-agreement-guide
Book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944934987/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_SRXAD2SK285NG0F99Y0Z?linkCode=ml1&tag=jessicafern-20
Sacred Sons Men’s Group https://www.sacredsons.com/
Patreon episode: What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date (where I talk about the RAIN method) https://www.patreon.com/posts/112573033/
More from Polycurious
Today, Ross and Eden, tantra practitioners, intimacy and relationship coaches, and community builders, share how they evolved from a very polyamorous dating life to a relationship that still leaves room for openness while honoring their nervous systems, emotional capacity, and desire to focus on each other.
Today I share my thoughts about The Invite, a movie about a married couple who invite their neighbors over for dinner. Things are awkward from the start, but they get even more awkward, funny, and real when an unexpected invitation to explore non-monogamy comes up.
Sarah Stroh talks about her book, Monogamaybe, her process coming to terms with her non-monogamous identity and finding a partner who supported her in that journey. We discuss how to manage and process jealousy and what agreements look like in non-monogamy when you want to be your best poly self but the reality is you’re struggling.
Natalie Davis, author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, shares her journey into polyamory, from opening up her marriage in her 40s after her husband’s infidelity to navigating living with her metamours. Natalie also opens up about the end of a decade long relationship after her partner began dating someone new and could no longer offer her the kind of relationship she wanted. She reflects on what she’s learned about letting go when a relationship no longer works for you.
Cat, Natalie, and Joshua from The Kink Collective talk about their experience building a triad. We talk about honesty and transparency in non monogamy, especially when telling the full truth feels scary because you’re worried about your partner’s reaction, and what happens when you struggle to trust a partner who isn’t fully transparent. Natalie also shares her experience entering an established relationship, navigating Joshua’s other partners, and realizing she sometimes compared Cat to her own mom because of their significant age difference. Finally, we talk about letting go of expectations about what a relationship is “supposed” to look like and allowing their triad to develop organically.