Show Notes
Have you ever felt like you’re trying so hard to communicate, but the harder you try, the more things seem to fall apart? Whether it’s that heavy feeling of being misunderstood, the exhausting cycle of the silent treatment, or the fear that you’re accidentally pushing the people you love away—I want you to know: you aren't broken.
Most of us are just running on a communication "blueprint" we didn't choose. In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers of why we fall into these traps. We’re talking about:
Why "stonewalling" and passive aggression are actually defense mechanisms (not just "bad behavior").
The difference between being "anxious" versus "avoidant" in a conflict.
How to use the DEAR MAN technique to finally ask for what you need.
Why "repairing" after a fight is actually more important than being perfect.
You don't have to be perfect to have a healthy relationship. You just need to be willing to learn a different way.
Episode Sponsor:
Reddit - Interested in finding a community that you really love and can trust? Download the Reddit app today!
Mentioned in this episode:
Why Do I Keep Doing This?
My Substack
Gottman Institute Research on The Four Horsemen
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
More from Ask Kati Anything
Am I being manipulative, or am I just expressing how I feel? Licensed therapist Kati Morton answers 10 questions about emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, the silent treatment, and healthy communication in relationships.
Does your therapist actually care about you, or are they just good at their job? Licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton answers 10 of your most vulnerable questions about the therapeutic relationship, including a few you might be too embarrassed to ask.
Understanding psychosis can feel overwhelming, but separating myths from facts helps remove the fear. In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down what psychosis actually is, how delusions and hallucinations develop, and what recovery looks like.
What Is Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)? Do you struggle to make decisions without someone else’s approval? Do you constantly seek reassurance, fear being alone, or stay in unhealthy relationships because the thought of leaving feels terrifying?
What is a trauma bond, and why is it so hard to leave an unhealthy relationship even when you know you deserve better? In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton breaks down what trauma bonds actually are, why intermittent reinforcement and the "hope trap" keep us stuck, and how to finally break free.