110. The Resistant Client Series: Capture the Moment and Get in Front of It

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, we address resistant client presentations, emphasizing capturing moments and containing reactivity. Techniques discussed included understanding the zone of resistance, organizing reactivity within the relational frame, and the metaphor of a combination lock to illustrate the process of unlocking client resistance. We highlighted the need for therapists to be assertive and attuned to clients' emotional states. Outline Upcoming Training Events and Externships

Ryan announces three core skill series training sessions in Huntington, West Virginia, from August 21 to 23, 2025, and January 15 to 17, 2026. Ryan mentions two externships: one in Indianapolis, Indiana, from July 9 to 12, 2025, and another in Northwest Arkansas from July 29 to August 1, 2025. James discusses an externship in Bend, Oregon, from October 15 to 18, 2025, and the SV Focus Lab in Northwest Arkansas from September 11 to 13, 2025. James highlights the hybrid nature of the SV Focus Lab, allowing both in-person and online attendance.

Introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Ryan shares a positive experience with the Minnesota EFT center, praising their leadership and intentionality in learning the model. James reflects on the vibrant learning environment at the Minnesota EFT center, mentioning various leaders and their contributions. To the resistant client series topic, focusing on containing space and getting in front of the resistant client dynamic.

Understanding the Zone of Resistance

The concept of finding the zone of resistance, where clients are stuck between hope and longing, and the importance of leaning into vulnerability. There is a need to contain reactivity within the relational frame to prevent it from taking over the session. An episode from the past (episode 64) about getting out ahead of resistance and shares a story to illustrate the point. A session where George Fowler intervenes to prevent a pursuer's reactivity from escalating, emphasizing the importance of capturing the moment.

Capturing the Moment in EFT

The importance of capturing the moment in EFT, noting that missing key moments can lead to more escalation. A personal anecdote about his early EFT training and the importance of creating a safe place for clients to process. The concept of "78 harm," where seeing the same harmful move in the cycle multiple times indicates a need for a treatment plan. The metaphor of a combination lock to describe the process of unlocking the client's resistance and creating a shift.

Strategies for Managing Resistance

A Rubric for managing resistance, including capturing the moment, unlocking the block, and repetitively mirroring the client's behavior. The importance of not overdoing the lock metaphor and the need for attunement and assertiveness in EFT. A story about a consultation with an experienced EFT therapist who was feeling demoralized due to a lack of progress with a resistant client. The importance of capturing moments and creating a mental treatment plan to address the client's resistance.

The Role of Reflection in EFT

The importance of reflection in EFT, using Sue Johnson's phrase, "Can I try on what I think I'm seeing?" A personal anecdote about the need for external validation to see one's reactivity. The importance of not letting reactivity take over the session and the need for therapists to step in and address it. The importance of capturing the moment and organizing reactivity within the relational frame.

Addressing Resistance in Therapy

The importance of addressing resistance in therapy, not